Fun with Taxis (from an older blog but still worth the read)

   I have almost become accustomed to seeing things out of the ordinary. I have seen handcuffed horses and pigs being drug through the market by their feet. Almost nothing surprises me or throws me off my game anymore. One thing that still gets me though is the public transportation. I have road in taxis in the states before and gotten a little scared of the driving as I am a nervous rider by nature. At least in the States the biggest worry is finding a safe driver because the cars are usually pretty safe. Taxis in Nica however are an adventure every time. You may get lucky and get a newer car but that still leaves the driver. Here is a collection of my favorite taxi stories.

 First timer:

   I had been to Nicaragua several times at this point but never had to rely on public transportation. This morning I decided to travel out to the house by myself so I could stop and visit friends in town. I stood at the roadside and hailed the first cabbie. He promptly pulled over and told me to get in. I looked inside and saw six other people already in the cab so I waved him off. The second cab pulled over and there were five in this one and again I waved him off because to me the cab was full. By the time the third cabbie stopped I realized that occupancy limits were null and void here so I hopped in with six others to ride to town.

   The taxis in Nica work by routes one taxi take you to where you can get another taxi to complete your journey. After visiting with friends I made my way to the taxi stand that would get me to my destination. I told the driver where I was headed and he said ok but did not move. Several other people showed up and gave the driver their destination and he still just sat there chatting with his fellow drivers. He finally stood up and gave the let’s go signal and it was a mad dash to find a seat as there were six of us waiting to go. We all pile in to this four passenger taxi. Yes that is six adults and a driver for a total of seven adults in this compact car. As we were making our escape from the taxi stand a rather healthy lady flagged the driver. He stopped and the only thing I could think of was there is no way she will fit in this car. Oh how I was wrong. Not only did she fit she managed to squeeze the toddler with her in as well. We now have eight adults and a child with us for this adventure. Luckily there were no others wanting a ride or so I thought. We made it about a ¼ mile and got flagged down.  I looked in the car and knew this time there was no way possible. I was right this time and the rider acknowledged and just jumped on the trunk of the car and yelled let’s ride. I was the second stop for this ride and it must have looked like a clown car when I got out because the guards had a big laugh when I emerged. I just thought to myself “well that was fun”.

 Riding blind:

  This adventure begins at the cemetery taxi stand. I sat on a bench waiting for enough customers to fill a taxi and trying to figure out what driver was up next on the route. After about twenty minutes one of the cabbies pulls forward and motions to get in. Luckily there were only four of us this trip. As soon as I got in I was motioned to get out. I had no clue why as I had not spoken to the guy so I knew I had not called his mother a Goat or anything in my broken Spanish. Luckily there was a guy at the stand who spoke enough English to give me direction. The driver needed help pushing his cab in order to jump start it. That should have been my first clue as to how this ride was to unfold. Soon after push starting the cab and jumping in we were off. We make it maybe two hundred yards and he kills the engine. We coasted about three hundred yards and he jump starts it again. This was repeated the entire ride. After the third time I looked at the driver and noticed that he had a rag covering his face. I thought well it is dusty but then noticed that his entire face was covered including two very important components of driving, His eyes! My nerves along with many prayers shot through the roof. Even more un-nerving was when we met traffic on the road. He seemed to know it was coming. It was like a sixth sense or something because he would slow and move to the side. (By slow I mean he took it down from 50 to 35 on this choppy dirt road). The first lady gets out and pays and then I get out to push start the cab again. We were nearing my stop and I told him where I was headed. Even with his eyes covered he stopped maybe forty foot shy of my stop. I was amazed how well he knew the route. The lady next to me started to yell at him and I can only assume she was telling him he stopped a bit short. He apologized and moved up to right beside the gate. This time the guards were belly laughing at me for one because I had to push the car again and two little did I know this driver was literally blind! So the rag over his eyes meant nothing because he couldn’t see anyways. Yet another case of God protecting me and probably getting a big laugh at my expense.

 The sardine affects:

     I thought to myself before entering this vehicle that I have had plenty of taxi rides before so this can’t be that bad. Oh how I was wrong and unprepared. I stood at the stop with my friends and before me pulls up a microbus. This is basically an extended minivan used for public transportation. There are about thirty people standing at the stand as the door opened. I was ill prepared for the mad dash that was coming. My friend Denis looked at me and said hurry up. As I was shoved in to the bus by the folks behind me I realized my friends were better prepared than I was because they had saved me an actual seat. If it were not for that I would have been standing for this ride. As we took off like pigs running from the butcher I looked around and did a quick head count. There was a sign from the manufacturer that clearly said fifteen person limits. I counted the seats first and came up with fifteen. I then counted the people and came up with twenty seven.  That was a little much I thought but that was the least of my worries. As we sped through the mountains with little regard to the safety of us or anyone with in a hundred yards I quickly realized it was time to pray. My friends could obviously see it on my face because they all began to chuckle. I promptly put on my shades so that they could not see that my eyes were glued shut in fear and nervously smiled like I Was enjoying all of this. One hour later we reached our destination and as I exited I mentally kissed the ground and looked up and thanks again big guy.

Trial by fire:

    Standing at the port of the ferry I had just exited thirteen friends and I begin to look for a cab to take us to the bus station.  I knew by this point that here would only be a need for two cabs because there were not enough of us to fill three cabs. So we track down two drivers and haggle out a price that suited our pockets. The cabbie I was chosen to ride with looked like a nice guy. Pretty well dressed and seemed to be polite so I thought this can’t be too bad. We throw our bags in the trunk and squeeze in the cab. As hard as it may be to believe I was the smallest of the bunch so I got the middle. I sat there chatting it up with my friends laughing and reminiscing about the trip we had just returned from and then it happened. Something glimmered and caught my eye. The sun had caught his rear view mirror ornament just right and I took notice. It was a one liter coke bottle hanging upside down. Upon further inspection I notice that there is a tube coming from the bottom going in to the A/C vent. It made me curious so I take another look at the bottle and quickly realize it is filled with gas! At first I was impressed with the drivers’ ingenuity and the danger of the contraption had not yet crossed my mind. That only lasted about half a second and I started to go in to freak out mode. The driver did little to calm my fears as he hit every pot hole on the road (on purpose I think) and the bottle shook about like a piñata. My fears were then quickly escalated further when the driver whom I thought was the right choice made his next move. He reached in to his front pocket and pulled out what looked like cigarettes. I was thinking there is no way he is gonna light that thing next to the Molotov cocktail he has hanging beside him. I was wrong and he did. My Spanish may not be the best in the world but I learned quickly from previous cab rides how to say “Aquí no hay más” which means here no further. Although I was in the middle I was the first to put shoes to pavement. And although I appreciated the drivers creative way of delivering gas his safety skill led me to another cab.

 Still gotta pay the piper
   
 One day I had to catch a taxi back to the office. Angela the director of the house was with me. We stood at the gate of the house for 30 minutes or so waiting and finally a cab pulls up. It was my buddy Norman's cab so we jump in with the other two passengers and head down the path. We stop to pick up someone else so now there are six grown adults in the car. As it often goes here there is always room for one more so we stop to pick up a lady waiting at the side of the road. Im looking to see where we can squeeze her in and see no where for her. Norman gets out and tell the last guy we picked up to get out. Normally if there is no room and it is a guy they will just jump on the trunk and hold on. That means he gets a free ride. Norman is to smart for that so he tells the guy to drive and he jumps on the trunk. Now that the guy rode inside even though he drove he has to pay for the ride. There is never a dull moment here and taxi rides are always an adventure.