Sacrifice

There are days where my emotions go all over the place. I look at the sacrifices I make to do what I do. In comparison however mine are so small compared to others. I give up very little compared to so many. I visited the homes of two pastors recently and that reality hit me like a sledge hammer. Tin walls covered in rust held up by four wood posts stand on the ground. The door is secured by a small padlock that can easily be forced open. Inside is a plank of wood with a foam mattress and a sheet. In the corner you can see where the night fire burned to cook a small bite to eat. A plastic chair sits in the center of the dirt floor. There is no sink to draw water from or wash up after a long day in the dust. No shower or bathroom to speak of. The heat of the day is getting to me and the heat inside this home is one hundred fold what it is outside. The mid day sun beats down on the tin roof and turns the home in to an oven hot enough to bake bread it seems. Yet this Pastor stays firm in her faith and continues the work of our Lord. Not complaining about the circumstances rather praising God for his love and grace. I may sacrifice precious time away from my loved ones but in comparison I sacrifice nothing.

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 A little later in the day we visited a farm out in the countryside of Managua. A small concrete and wood farm house sat just off the road surrounded by pasture land and fruit trees. You could here the roosters crowing and the cows belting out their moos for all to hear. The smell of ripened fruit was in the air as we pulled in. A saddled horse stood tied to a tree ready for work. You could see the pile of corn cobs off to the side where they had shucked the corn from the harvest. The woman of the house gathered wood to use in the wood fired stove to prepare our lunch. We walked in to the orchard to gather some fruit for a snack while we waited for the ladies to prepare lunch. It was such a beautiful place. It reminded me of the old westerns I would watch as a child on Sunday afternoons. I was waiting for little Joe and Hoss to come riding up. 

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     Lunch was prepared that day in the farm kitchen. A wood fired stone oven and stove top stood in the corner of the room. Smoke filled the air along with the smell of the meat being cooked. A stone millstone sat on the counter that was used to mill the corn for the fresh tortillas. Old tin milk cans sat in the corner where the lady of the house made her fresh cheese. The only modern appliance was a crock pot and a blender. No fridge or microwave no mixer or fancy kitchen gadgets. This was old school and traditional. There was a small wooden platform tied from the rafter that hung just over the stove that had leaves laid on top of it. It was there that the cheese sat as it smoked and received it's smokey flavor. The women chatted about different things. They would laugh and giggle at me as I watched them work. I wondered to myself what this woman would do in a modern kitchen. I think she would prefer her rustic style over the modernized kitchen any day.

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  Later we gathered in the front yard around a small wood table. A hammock that was tied to a tree served as an extra seat. We all sat together prayed over our meal and enjoyed fellowship together. We shared laughs and times of serious conversation about life and God. It seems not matter where I travel some of my favorite moments are those when sharing time over a meal with new and old friends. 

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   Later that evening we went to a small church and had a time of worship together. No sound system or instruments just voices being lifted to the Lord. Clapping was the only sound other than the voices being lifted. Several times prayers for the service and congregation were spoken. People shared testimony or scripture. Old wood benches served as pews and the breeze blew in the openings in the walls where doors would soon be. The wooden rafters creaked when the wind would get strong. It was such a fruitful and glorious service.

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   After service we gathered back at the farm house for a small meal and coffee. It was then when the whole day kind of hit me. I listened to the insects chirp and thought "God did that". I would feel the wind and think "God did that". The stars in the sky were so bright and I thought "God did that". I looked around at my friends enjoying this time of fellowship and thought "God is doing this". I sat in amazement of Gods work. I wished friends were there to share it with me. I hope that some day soon I can share a moment like this with my son. I was happy to be sharing time with friends. I was sad that some friends would never get this experience. I was amazed by the sights but also felt guilty that others could not share in the splendor. I laughed with my friends and yet cried a little on the inside knowing there is still so much sadness in the world. Why God chose me to be in this place still confuses me at times but I am sure glad he chose me.